Imagine this: you’re sitting at home, and suddenly, a thought creeps in. “I’ll never get this recovery thing right.” Cue the spiral. The thought snowballs, pulling in every past mistake and imagined future failure until you’re convinced it’s all hopeless. Sound familiar?
Welcome to the world of emotional reasoning, where feelings often pose as facts. But here’s the thing: just because you feel something doesn’t mean it’s true. Enter “Check the Facts,” a simple yet powerful technique to reality-check your thoughts and bring a little logic back into the mix.
“Check the Facts” is a tool borrowed from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and it’s a lifesaver for moments when your emotions are running the show. Recovery is full of emotionally charged situations, whether it’s cravings, conflict, or self-doubt. Emotions are important—they’re signals that something needs attention—but they’re not always accurate reporters. Sometimes, they twist reality, turning small setbacks into catastrophes or making you believe things about yourself that just aren’t true.
Think about how fear can amplify a situation. Maybe you’ve missed a meeting or had a stressful conversation with a friend, and suddenly your brain is screaming, “I’m a failure!” Or how anger can make you see everything in black and white—“They don’t care about me at all!” In these moments, emotions can hijack your perspective, leading to impulsive decisions or unnecessary stress. That’s where “Check the Facts” comes in.
The idea is simple: when an emotion feels overwhelming or a thought seems all-consuming, pause and ask yourself, “What are the facts here?” What’s the evidence that supports this thought or feeling? What’s the evidence against it? By stepping into detective mode, you shift from emotional reasoning to logical thinking, giving yourself a clearer picture of what’s really going on.
Let’s break it down with an example. Say you’re feeling a craving and thinking, “I can’t handle this—it’s too strong.” The first step in “Check the Facts” is to identify the thought or belief driving the emotion. In this case, it’s the idea that you can’t handle the craving.
Next, examine the evidence. What supports this thought? Maybe you’ve struggled with cravings in the past, and they’ve felt overwhelming. But what’s the evidence against it?
Perhaps you’ve faced similar cravings before and managed to ride them out. Maybe you have tools, like grounding techniques or a support network, that you can use. By looking at both sides, you can see the thought for what it is—an exaggeration fueled by emotion, not an unchangeable truth.
This technique isn’t about dismissing your feelings or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about separating facts from interpretations so you can respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. Feelings are valid, but they’re not always accurate reflections of reality. “Check the Facts” helps you honor your emotions while staying grounded in what’s real.
To make this skill part of your recovery toolkit, start practicing it daily. You don’t have to wait for a full-blown emotional crisis to get started. Try it with smaller thoughts or situations. Maybe you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming appointment and thinking, “Something will go wrong.” Pause and check the facts. What’s the evidence for this thought? Maybe there’s some uncertainty, but has something always gone wrong in the past? Probably not. What’s the evidence against it? Maybe you’ve handled similar situations successfully before.
The more you practice, the more automatic this process becomes. Over time, you’ll start to notice patterns in your thinking—like how fear tends to exaggerate the negative or how guilt can make you assume responsibility for things beyond your control. Recognizing these patterns is the first step to reshaping them.
One of the best things about “Check the Facts” is that it gives you a sense of control. When emotions are running high, it’s easy to feel powerless, like you’re at the mercy of your thoughts. Fact-checking flips the script, putting you back in the driver’s seat. It’s a reminder that while you can’t always control how you feel, you can control how you respond.
This skill is especially useful in recovery because it helps you navigate triggers and challenges with clarity. Let’s say you’re feeling left out because your friends are going to a party you know isn’t a safe environment for you. Your initial thought might be, “They don’t care about me.” But when you check the facts, you might realize that your friends aren’t trying to exclude you—they just don’t fully understand your recovery needs. With that perspective, you can communicate your feelings instead of withdrawing or stewing in resentment.
If you want to take “Check the Facts” to the next level, consider keeping a thought journal. Write down situations that trigger strong emotions, along with the thoughts and feelings that come up. Then, use the fact-checking process to analyze those thoughts. What’s true? What’s distorted? What alternative perspectives can you consider? Journaling not only helps you practice the skill but also creates a record of your growth over time.
Another helpful tip is to pair “Check the Facts” with affirmations. After reality-testing a negative thought, replace it with a positive or neutral statement that aligns with the facts. For example, if your original thought was, “I can’t do this,” and the facts show that you’ve successfully handled similar challenges before, your new statement might be, “This is hard, but I have the strength to get through it.” Affirmations reinforce rational thinking, helping to rewire those emotional patterns over time.
Recovery is a journey, and like any journey, it comes with twists, turns, and detours. “Check the Facts” is like your compass, keeping you pointed toward reality when emotions try to lead you astray. It’s a skill that takes practice, but the more you use it, the more it becomes second nature.
So the next time your mind starts spinning stories, take a breath, grab your detective hat, and check the facts. You might be surprised
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