Recovery is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional feeling of, “Am I even getting anywhere?” It’s easy to get caught up in the moments when things didn’t go as planned. But here’s the thing: what if you shifted your focus to the moments when things did go right? That’s the magic of exception-based skills therapy. It’s all about recognizing the times when you succeeded, even in small ways, and using those moments as building blocks for long-term change.
Let’s get real—most of us are our own worst critics. We tend to dwell on mistakes, replaying them in our minds like a bad movie marathon. But what if you flipped the script? What if, instead of fixating on setbacks, you celebrated your victories, no matter how small?
Exception-based skills therapy invites you to do just that. By focusing on the times you successfully resisted cravings or handled a tough situation with grace, you remind yourself of your strength and capability.
Why does this matter? Because success builds confidence, and confidence fuels progress. When you acknowledge your wins, you’re essentially saying, “I’ve done this before, and I can do it again.” Those moments of resilience become proof that you’re stronger than the challenges you face. And let’s be honest—recovery is hard enough without carrying around unnecessary self-doubt.
Take a moment to think about a time when you resisted a craving or made a choice that aligned with your recovery goals. Maybe you skipped a party that would’ve been triggering, called a friend instead of isolating, or practiced a coping skill in a moment of stress. Whatever it was, big or small, it mattered. That’s an exception—a time when you succeeded despite the obstacles.
Now, here’s where the fun part comes in: building on those successes. Think of your recovery as a series of stepping stones. Each victory, no matter how tiny, is another stone that helps you move forward. The more you focus on what you’re doing right, the more motivated you’ll feel to keep going. Success isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, one step at a time.
One way to harness the power of exceptions is by documenting them. Grab a notebook or open a note on your phone, and start keeping track of the moments when you made a positive choice. Write down what happened, what you did, and how it made you feel. For example: “Today, I felt stressed after work, but instead of turning to old habits, I went for a walk and called a friend. I felt proud and calmer afterward.”
By creating a record of your wins, you’re building a library of evidence that you’re capable, resilient, and making progress. On tough days, when doubt creeps in, you can look back on those entries and remind yourself of what you’re capable of. It’s like having your own personal cheerleading squad in written form.
Another powerful exercise is reflecting on what made those successes possible. What strategies or supports helped you resist the craving or stay on track? Maybe it was a grounding technique, a supportive friend, or simply reminding yourself of your “why.” Once you identify what worked, think about how you can replicate that success in the future.
For example, if you found that going for a walk helped you redirect your thoughts during a craving, consider making it a go-to strategy. If calling a friend gave you the encouragement you needed, make a list of people you can reach out to when things get tough. By identifying what works, you’re creating a personalized toolkit for your recovery journey.
It’s also important to remember that exceptions aren’t just about the “big” wins. Sure, resisting a major trigger or overcoming a powerful craving is worth celebrating. But so are the small, everyday choices that align with your recovery goals. Drinking water instead of reaching for a drink, taking a deep breath instead of snapping during a stressful moment, or even showing up for yourself by journaling or meditating—these are all exceptions that deserve recognition.
Recovery isn’t a straight line, and setbacks are a normal part of the process. But focusing on exceptions helps you see that a setback doesn’t erase your progress. Those moments of success prove that you’re capable, even when things get tough. They’re reminders that you have the tools, strength, and determination to keep moving forward.
So, how can you incorporate exception-based skills therapy into your life? Start by setting aside time each day to reflect on your wins. Maybe it’s during your morning coffee or right before bed. Write down at least one positive choice you made that day, no matter how small. Over time, you’ll start to notice patterns in your successes, which can help you build on them.
You can also make it a habit to share your wins with someone you trust—a friend, a sponsor, or a support group. Talking about your victories reinforces them, and it might even inspire someone else to reflect on their own progress. Recovery is a journey best taken with others, and celebrating successes together makes the path feel a little brighter.
Exception-based skills therapy is a reminder that recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about persistence. It’s about recognizing that every step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. By focusing on your strengths and successes, you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving.
So go ahead, celebrate your wins, track your progress, and keep building on the amazing work you’re doing. You’ve got this.
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